Being Crabby Is … Not Serenity

Ok. So my wife thinks I can get crabby sometimes – well maybe a little more often than that. And since there is a little stress at the office, some of the case managers I supervise may also feel the same way. As a public service I decided to publish a list so it is not my fault if anyone catches me on a crabby day and wonders what is going on.

Being crabby is:

Waking up in the morning and thinking it will be a bad day because it is cloudy * sunny * rainy * snowy …

Seeing that driver ahead of me intentionally forgetting to turn on his left turn signal just to hold me up.

When I am sure that the cost of gas went up just because they know I am going on a trip.

Knowing the grocer packed that bag of over ripe grapes because he knew I was shopping today.

Feeling my hands tighten on the steering when as I wait and watch the woman with a cane cross the street in front of me and thinking, “If she really knew how to use that cane …”

How I feel when the dog wakes me up for the fourth time just to go outside to make sure the lawn is there in case he really has to relieve himself.

Knowing I am in the middle of what my wife calls a reverse Midas Touch day (anything I touch definitely does not turn to gold) and realizing it will not end soon.

And the crowning glory of crabby for me is knowing that whenever I feel that way, it is my reaction to people, places, situations or things and thus my responsibility. I cannot blame it on anyone else.

In my drinking days I would use my feeling crabby as an excuse to drink. Crabby? Actually crabby, happy, sad, depressed, elated – any emotion as an excuse to turn to the bottle. Hmmm. Sounds a little like the “stinking thinking” still lurks. Stopping the dependency, no matter what form it may take, is only the first part. Anyone can stop. Staying stopped is where the recovery occurs. That means changing attitudes.

When I allow my feeling crabby to creep back into my life and color the way I live, I am actually in denial. I deny the wonderful things with which God has blessed me. But more, I am denying all that my Savior has done for me.

It would be so much better if I simply looked at things this way.

“Oh no, the day is cloudy and rainy and I have to face all that work.” (Crabby on the way)

“But thank you Jesus for coming to die for me a sinner.” (Thanksgiving)

“I still need to deal with all that work.” (Mood swing starting)

Jesus said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” (I do not have to handle this alone. Relief)

But there is another tomorrow coming. (180 degree mood swing starting)

“I go to prepare and place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3 (No matter what happens here, I have heaven waiting for me. Pure joy, wonderful anticipation; Crabby feelings? – impossible!)

I know that days are coming when feeling and acting crabby will seem like my only choice. But I know it is not. The Serenity Prayer tells me I need to know the difference between the changeable and the unchangeable. God has already sent his Son to change what I could not and he promises me power to change what I can.

Now that does not make me crabby at all!

Hope you come back some time. I will wait you. (And I will not get crabby if it takes you a while)

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One comment on “Being Crabby Is … Not Serenity

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